Ryan
Chasing greatness

Lets talk Japan.  For some time now a child in a class of 3 has not been showing up.  We hear through her friend that she was quitting.  My Japanese Teacher says, “oh, she must just be sick, but she’ll be back.”  My response was, “No she won’t.”

She never showed up again in 2 months.

Then we hear that, she has already quit, but she never actually told us.  That made me laugh because I was right, it was so obvious, but completely not Japanese.

Then I found out she hasn’t paid in 6 months.  That amounts to around $400.

I laughed harder.

It kills me because it hasn’t been a mystery to the powers that be at work.  They knew she hadn’t paid, and completely thought without hesitation that, “They simply must not have the money, because they haven’t paid yet.  If they have the money, they would pay us.”

Nobody thought, “They’re ripping us off.”  Even after news broke that the little girl is taking piano lessons.  They have the money.

On Tuesday morning I had to go to Kobato Kindergarten for an hour or so.  hey have extra money to burn, so they are burning it on my patience.  I may have wrote this before but come April they don’t want me around because they only want one teacher for a full school year.  Since I’m leaving, they want a different teacher.

So I show up and find out when I get there that I have to play and teach 1-year-olds  Really, those kids can’t even walk and they want me, a white devil, to teach them English.  Outrageous sir!

It worked out fine because, oddly enough, I am good with Japanese children.  I just wish I had known it was 1-year-olds.

Then, on Saturday I had to go to something called Happyokai.  This is a end of year festival.  Only on some form of Japanese Kindergarten steroids.  Each class performs several times.  It could be dances, music, or singing.  They play real instruments, have elaborate costumes, sets, and all of the stress to go with it.  All of this took place at a concert hall with 2 levels.

I was told on Friday about this.

I almost pooped my pants.

I had to perform 2 five minute segments.  One in the morning and one in the afternoon.  I was told that only 3-year-olds would be around for the first one.  For the second one I was told that there would be no children at all, only parents.  What is worse is that when I had to perform the first time, all of the children would be getting ready right behind me.

So anyway.  We made our plans grudgingly.  We go to this place and it was full of people and children.  I am not a nervous person, but this got to me a little.  Today I had to represent M.E.S and Kobato.  We went backstage and everyone was busy and stressed.  We had lots of questions like, “When and where should we go,” or, “Where do we get microphones?”

The answers we got were, “I’m too busy, ask someone else.”

Eventually someone came over and gave us little wireless microphones that are activated when you walk on stage.

I sang a song in front of I don’t know how many parents sitting behind I don’t know how many sony video cameras.

Then I ate lunch and went back for round 2.

Round 2 involved a card trick I have gotten pretty good at.  Only I did it with huge flash cards.  I asked for 4 volunteers and was met with absolute silence.  I had my assistant Mami go and force people up.  They participated and were moderately amazed.

I found out later that the spotlights created a huge glare on the cards, and were impossible to see by the audience.  Oh well.

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Before I address the title of this entry let me talk about my lunch.  I went to go eat at a chain restaurant that has been around since 1949 or so.

Now the Japanese for the place is 幸楽所.  I’m not 100% sure if I remembered that last Kanji right, but I’m sure you’ll forgive me.

Its funny right?

Oh.  Well the meaning is, “Happy Fun Place.”  Pretty great name for a restaurant that serves 2 things: ramen and gyoza.  Turns out that Happy Fun Place has 3 Happy Fun Factories that make Happy Fun Gyoza.  That is pretty neat too.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that their food was Happy Fun Good, but it was good.

Next to Happy Fun Place is the Surprised Donkey.  I think they served hamburgers.  It was hard to  chose where to eat based on the strength of their names alone.

After lunch I went to buy Yu-Gi-Oh cards.  For those of you who don’t know.  These are one of many collectible trading card games that flourish among children.  I don’t think it ever really took off in the States, but here it is huge.

I could care less about it except that I am trying to build it into some of my lessons at work.  If I show them one of these cards, then I have their absolute attention.  Unfortunately that means I have to know what card I’m holding.

The place I went to buy these cards from had several children wiping their sweaty hands all over the glass case of Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and an old woman who told tem to stop.

When we asked her what we should buy she just frowned and said that she had no idea.  So we asked the children.  They quietly debated among themselves, and reached a verdict as to what I should buy and nodded sagely that this was the newest and best thing to buy for beginners.

The old woman just rolled her eyes and smiled when she took my money.

I think that the old woman honestly hates children and should open a Happy Fun Place instead.

A lot can happen in a few days.  Since I haven’t blogged in a few days, there are a few things to say.

First, it looks like we won’t be coming home until June.  They’ll need us to help with all the new staff transitions.  It makes no difference to us, but since the idea of going home early had been mentioned, it is only a tiny bit disappointing.

Next up is Valentine’s Day.  So in the states we give gifts, chocolate, cheesy cards to one another and thats great.  I’d say most of the time though, men wind up with all the pressure to get a good gift though.  I’m just saying.

In Japan its opposite.  Women give men chocolate on February 14th.  I will say I received chocolate from several people.  Even though I’m not big on sweets, the notion gave me the warm fuzzies.

So what about all of those women who desire tangible affirmation of affection?  Well thats why they have White Day.  White Day is on March 14th.  That is when the men give women gifts.

So next time you think about how commercialized Valentine’s Day is, just think about how much more ridiculous it is here.

Oh, I have Goldeneye.  Time to experience all the fun I missed out on years ago.

Normally I would write about how I hate birthdays.  However, my wife is doing her best at making me feel otherwise.  I’m intending on agreeing with her.

More to the point, there are 4 women in my bed.

So I found out from my private lesson student today that a nearby town is one of the most famous places in the world for making knives.  Every Sunday they make Katanas publicly.  That sounds pretty cool.

Also, he said, that when you wear Japanese Kimonos, Yukata, or anything for that matter, you always tuck the right side under the left.  If you do that backwards, it means you are a corpse.  In our Ryokan in Shirakawa-go I was a walking corpse apparently.

For my birthday Megan, Mami, Yurie, Ayumi, and myself went to a very good and pricey sushi place.  How pricey?  Two pieces of sashimi costs from $4 to $6.  I got a plate of, “Good,” sushi which had something like 9 pieces for $16.

Anyway, it was an excellent meal.  I can say I have had good sushi in Japan with great company.

I also got a Japanese Nintendo 64 which is unassailably cool.  I think it is really a Nintendo 64+1, but that is just me (After a few beers).

I’m toasted and happy.  I think tomorrow I’ll enjoy National Founder’s Day (The earliest recorded date of an emperor in Japan) or Ryan’s Birthday in America Day by getting a N64 controller for Megan and another game.

February 3rd is Setsubun.  Essentially it is a national holiday that involves beans, sushi, devils, and a compass.

February 2nd I saw a celebration at a Kindergarten I teach at.  It was really hilarious to watch.  The bus drivers dressed up as devils and went from classroom to classroom where the children mostly became petrified with fear and sobbed uncontrollably.  It may sound cruel to laugh at 3 year olds terror, but it truly is funny.  Eventually someone would get their beans out and repel the devils so that they could continue on to another classroom.

So there is the first thing about Setsubun.  You throw beans at the devils to make them go away.  You also say, “鬼は外。ふくは家.”  This means, “Devils outside, good luck inside.”

I have no idea why beans are effective against devils.  Someone should tell the Pope.

The other traditions are still really mysterious to me, but here is what I have figured out.

1. Eat one more bean than your age.
2. Eat a roll of sushi whole.
3. Face East NorthEast this year (It changes every year).
4. Laugh before you eat the sushi.
5. Don’t say a word until you are finished eating.

We did most of these things because it was so specific and silly.  I know most people’s natural question is, “Why?”

Don’t ask.

Nobody knows.

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